If you are a dog lover, I hope you would take the time to read this entry. All I need right now is the consolation and company (even online) of a fellow dog lover.
Yesterday, August 26, 2016 my pet dog, Herbie, has passed on to the next divide. He was a family to us for 5 happy years. He came into our lives in 2011. I was scared of dogs because I was chased by a dog when I was 6 years old and that trauma has stayed with me ever since. I know that dogs are beautiful creatures to take care of and so October of 2011 I decided to take in Herbie. He was named Herbie because by the time he was delivered by (he was given..I didn't buy him) our neighbor into our home, my mother and I were watching the movie Herbie Fully Loaded. Yes, the Volkswagen car Herbie. Same with other dogs, he was loving and fully protective of our home. He was closest to me. I was his Ate. My mom was his Mama.
HAD I KNOWN...
Herbie was still not vaccinated with anti-rabies but don't you worry guys he was a good dog and haven't harmed or bitten anyone. There was a free vaccination in our barangay last August 25, 2016. Before he was vaccinated, he was already not feeling well. He was a bit weak and he didn't ate his dog food. He would only eat if I feed him with my hands like a baby. I told my mom to proceed on with the vaccination and at the same time have him checked with the vets. After the surgical procedure was done, Herbie was so weak due to the anesthesia, the stress of surgery and the anti-rabies vaccination. Ok so they say that's normal.
When I arrived from work last August 25, 2016, my heart just broke at the sight of him. He doggy cried (silently but I still heard him) when I arrived. Even if he was so weak he still stood up just to greet me at the gate. His face was so weak and full of pain but his tail wagged so happily from left to right. I told him to not stress himself and lay back again for him to relax.
I accompanied him thru the night. There was this bad instinct I felt at the sight of him. There was blood near his organs due to the surgical procedure that was done but my friends said it was normal. So I relaxed but the bad instinct stayed. I didn't want to go to sleep because I just want to be with him. If I could just sleep beside him all thru out I had already done it. My mom went home to our province and told her to go back in the city as early as possible the next day because I don't want to leave Herbie in that position when I go to work the next morning.
The day HERBIE LEFT US....
Morning of August 26, 2016, I woke up and the first thing I checked was Herbie. He was still weak and the sight of blood just scared me even more. They say it is normal for a dog to be weak 2-3 days after the anti-rabies vaccination and neutering but that bad instinct never left. My mom and I let him took the prescribed medicines. Anti-biotics for his surgical wound and ascorbic acid for his immune system.
When I left for work, I was at the gate and took a last look at Herbie. He looked at me too and that was the last image I had of him. Until now I still imagine that look and I can see the pain in his eyes. It was my last encounter with Herbie.
My mom left for work too. I texted her 12:21 PM:
"Ma, ayaw bya i si Herbie=(" (Ma, don't leave Herbie alone =( )
At noon, she went back home to attend to Herbie. My mom said his condition didn't improve. She stayed by his side all afternoon and that one text message confirmed that bad instinct I felt the night before. My mom texted me 3:24 PM:
"Inday, tawaga department of vet medicine and fisheries. Kutasan man Herbie" (Inday, please call the department of vet medicine and fisheries. Herbie is always out of breath.)
I called them but there was no doctor available. There was no one I could ask why Herbie's situation was like that. I texted my mom to always hydrate Herbie with water and texted her again 4:25 PM asking how Herbie was and that I will be calling again the Department of Vet Medicine but my mom replied at 4:45 PM:
"Inday, sorry au RIP na Herbie. Ako na ipalubong. Maka uli ka sau?" (Inday, sorry Herbie has RIP. I will arrange his burial. Will you be able to go home early?)
I was still at work when I received the message. I BAWLED. I never felt so much pain before. My father and lolo already passed away but it is a different pain when you get to be with them EVERY SINGLE DAY. My mom and dad were separated so I didn't get to spend much time with my father. My lolo lives in our province so I always don't see him everyday. With Herbie, it's different. I get to see this loving dog everyday! Who always waited for me to get back from work at the end of the day! Who happily wags his tail whenever he sees me!
When I went home after work, my tears would just fall. I rode a taxi since I know I will still be bawling out of Herbie's death. I didn't want to ride a jeepney. When I arrived home, my mom was cleaning Herbie's place where he stayed when he was still alive.
I stopped at the gate looked at my mom and looked at that empty space with no Herbie laying down and I cried like a baby. I decided to just let my mom proceed with Herbie's burial. I think I couldn't take watching Herbie dead. It was so eerily silent when I arrived home last night. There was a death atmosphere within our home. My mom and I lost a family member.
Now an EMPTY SPACE...
Herbie, ate Darling will always love you, miss you and remember you until eternity. I'm sorry you had to die in pain. ='( You will always be my one and only baby dog.